Need Something To Turn Your Life Around…Or A Laugh?

If your life is in the dump and you need a pick-me-up, perhaps you should try this Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee for only $11.95. With over 2,000 reviews, it is highly recommended on Amazon.com. This is what a few happy customers had to say:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best ever, November 18, 2011, By Ruby Chiarito

“Since buying this shirt I have become a war hero, time traveled, made millions in the stock market, stopped drug wars, and made love to women across the world while hunting diamonds.”

5.0 out of 5 stars Never a Lone Wolf Again!, May 19, 2009, By Lupidorr Theopian

“When my order arrived, I was not disappointed. As the UPS truck was driving down the street with my delivery, my female neighbors began opening their doors and stepping outside. I suspect the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt contains powerful lupine pheromones…[It] gave me a +10 resistance to energy attacks, +8 Strength, and added 30 feet to my normal leap. I cannot list the specific effects involving the opposite sex as I am still discovering these. And they are many.

Since owning the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, I have successfully solved 7 crimes in my city, including 4 cold case murders. The local police force is currently wishing to retain my services.”

5.0 out of 5 stars Well I am now dating the whole Hawaiian Tropic Girls team, November 22, 2011, By MaxPower

“So first off, the UPS man didn’t even deliever this all the way to the door. I think he knew what was inside this box and whoever lived in my house was the ultimate badass. Well I am the ultimate badass!…”

5.0 out of 5 stars A purchase you won’t regret., May 5, 2009, By Nonbon

“Every night, for the past 6 weeks, I have been visited by 3 wolf sprirts. And every night, they bestow upon me endless amounts of knowledge and offerings of imitation crab meat. They consider me their brothern, and I have found clarity and purpose in my life.”

5.0 out of 5 stars Life-altering!, May 12, 2009, By Murray Mc Dougall

“When I put this T-shirt on for the first time, my wife left me! Thank you, Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt!”

5.0 out of 5 stars Oh sweet Jesus this thing rocks, May 5, 2009, By B. Prince

“I have been wearing this shirt for about 15 weeks and I have not needed to wash it! You don’t put this shirt on your torso you put it on your soul. The day I bought this shirt I lost 300 lbs! I got a new chevy, a new Trailer and my kids quit meth.”

Unfortunately, not everyone was satisfied.

1.0 out of 5 stars May have side effects,May 29, 2009, By Frank “The Frank”

“The effect that this t-shirt has on women is pretty impressive. Unfortunately its natural healing powers reversed my vasectomy and I impregnated nine women in two weeks before I realized. They all had twin boys. Now I have 18 sons and spend most of my money on child support and condoms.”

1.0 out of 5 stars Defective!!!,May 21, 2009,By Matthew D. Shanahan

“I ordered this shirt for my brother’s birthday and it only had TWO wolves on it. When I called Amazon customer service they informed me that the third wolf was on back order. They said the could ship me out another moon, but that would make for a ridiculous t-shirt.”

1.0 out of 5 stars Bummer,May 28, 2009, By Lord of The Chavs “Los Feliz Massive, innit!”

“I put this away with my other T-shirts and before you know it it had devoured my Three Sheep T-Shirt.”

DISCLAIMER: For entertainment purposes only.

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13 Comments

  1. That was great! Ha ha ha….you deserve 5 out of 5 CHEERS for this post! Thanks for the laugh! *clink*x5

    • Why, thank you, CF Winn! I found those review quite hilarious.

  2. This product is quite famous on the Top Reviewers forum. We crack jokes about that shirt all the time, lol. Never gets old. There are a ton of other products that have similar funny reviews. Here are two examples you should check out:

    1) Uranium ore

    http://www.amazon.com/Images-SI-Inc-Uranium-Ore/dp/B000796XXM/ref=sr_1_3?s=industrial&ie=UTF8&qid=1322936181&sr=1-3

    2) Laptop Steering Wheel desk

    http://www.amazon.com/Wheelmate-Laptop-Steering-Wheel-Desk/dp/B000IZGIA8/ref=pd_sbs_indust_4

    It is a pastime on Amazon to write the occassional spoof review. I haven’t done one at those levels, but there is one vampire book I mocked so heavily that it got a decent amount of votes amd moved into the second most helpful review despite the 118 mostly four and five star reviews that came before it. One of these days I’ll post it on my blog. The main problems were the author had the vamps eating organic food (in addtion to drinking blood), avoiding alcohol, and they were very environmentally conscious which just ruined my view of what a vampire should be like. One of the only books I ever gave two stars because it was just that bad.

  3. Oops, didn’t realize putting the weblinks up was going to cause the product adds to show. Sorry about that 😦

  4. Thanks for commenting, Susan! I approved your comment with the product links because it was relevant to my blog post. Comments with links from spammers get filtered straight to the trash. WordPress is good about catching those.

    First comment for Uranium Ore cracked me up:

    3.0 out of 5 stars Great Product, Poor Packaging, May 14, 2009
    By Patrick J. McGovern “I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.”

    I love the first for Wheelmate too:

    5.0 out of 5 stars Makes a boring drive easier, November 19, 2009
    By Michael McCollough “You wouldn’t believe how much more interesting my commute is now that I have something to do other than just stare out the window! I’m using it right now to post this review and I never”

    LMAO! HILARIOUS!

    • Lol, Thanks for approving it. I liked the second review on the wheelmate the best because I used to play World of Warcraft and go on group raids. You really can get lost in the game though I’d never want my pilot plying it while in the air!

      These worked great in the cockpit for our tanscontinental flights!, November 4, 2009

      ByΒ Linky’s Dad (Alexandria, KY) – See all my reviews
      This review is from: Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk (Automotive)

      My copilot and I both used these during our “daily grind” transcontinental flights from San Diego to Minneapolis. We had to modify them a bit to fit snug against the instrument panels (when we bought them we didn’t realize the planes we fly don’t have steering wheels!), but in the end it did the job. With our laptops firmly in place we were able to focus our attention on what really mattered, participating in raids with our WoW clan. During our last flight we were so immersed in trying to take down Eranikus that we overshot Minneapolis by a full hour and a half before some annoying flight attendant interrupted us, babbling something about “FAA and F16 fighters.”

      We’ll definitely use this product again at our next gig, whatever and whenever that happens to be…

      Highly recommended!

      • “During our last flight we were so immersed in trying to take down Eranikus that we overshot Minneapolis by a full hour and a half before some annoying flight attendant interrupted us, babbling something about ‘FAA and F16 fighters.’ ”

        LOL

    • In case you are interested, this is that vampire book review I did.

      http://www.amazon.com/review/RNNR9DP56A71X/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B0046ZRVZ2#wasThisHelpful

      • The “Immortals” don’t actually “drink” blood? They suck it through their fangs and it goes directly into their bloodstream. Hmmm. Interesting.

        “Personally, I think the author missed an ideal opportunity here to campaign for Brita Fang Filters. That way, any toxins from the blood of non-organic eating humans can be removed before ingestion. The excess waste can then be spit out into an appropriately labeled hazmat container. Really, if vampires ever did come out of the closet, I would be the first to invest in such a product!”

        LOL!

        • It was a fun review to write. I wouldn’t have done it to an indie, but this book had over 100 positive reviews and was backed by a big publisher so I didn’t hurt the author. Plus I thought the romance was awful and she had one of the main characters taking the safety off a glock at one point (despite the fact a Glock has no safety) before shooting. Rather than listing all my complaints of the novel, though, I just stuck with the health issue stuff and tried to make it light. Some people have bought the book based on my review just to see if everything I said was true, lol. I took meticulous notes while reading so as to ensure there were no misquotes.

          I’m really thinking I should get a patent on that Brita Fang filter idea, though. Would hate for someone to steal it!

  5. Susan, did I mention my husband was an IP attorney? He can help you with that patent. πŸ™‚

    Funny how even negative reviews help folks backed by big publishers. Reminds me of why I sometimes still wonder if I did the right thing by going the indie route. Figured I was too much of a control freak to do it the traditional way, but marketing/promo is sooooo time-consuming. And sooooo slow. Since most people expect poor quality (I mean, why else would I CHOOSE to self-publish), indies can’t really afford bad reviews.

    Dang. Didn’t mean to rant.

    • If I thought for a minute there really were vampires…

      Don’t feel bad about the rant. It really is a sore subject. As a reviewer, I’m caught in the middle myself. If I don’t give the occassional bad review, then people will say I’m not to be taken seriously. So my rule of thumb is to do it for books i really disliked (and usually I’ll still say something nice about them) and the book will already have enough good reviews that I’m not hurting it so much. I have given a couple of indie books three stars but said both nice and bad things. You saw one of my latest ones that I posted on my blog. That book’s sales have not been hurt by me at all despite it being indie and actually seems to be getting more and more fans. No idea how the author is pulling it off but I have to hand it to her. Seems like I get hits on my blog at least once a day for that review because people were google searching it.

      If it makes you feel any better, most people don’t take a review seriously if it just bashes the book but says nothing really helpful. I figure those people are just indie haters out to make them look bad. A look at their Amazon profile usually reveals this because all their higher rated reviews will be trad published books.

      So anyway, that is why my reviews are so detailed is to ensure most people will take them seriously. I want people to know they can rely on my judgement. Though, of course, we all have different tastes. Yet my review should say enough to help them make a good decision on if the book is for them. At least, I hope it does!

      • I agree that your thorough reviews give people an idea about whether the book is right for them.

        Sure wished I knew what she was doing to get people to google her book that much. I’d like to drive people to your review of my book too. πŸ™‚


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