You Tell Him, Girl!

My husband emailed me the following jokes last week. Even though I’m more of a dry humor, sarcasm type of girl, I thought these were cute. Would love to track down the original source to give credit, but you know how email chains are. The source gets lost along the way. Nevertheless, they’re still funny. The perfect beginning for another glorious week.

He said to me, “I don’t know why you wear a bra. You’ve got nothing to put in it”. I said to him, “You wear pants don’t you?”

He said to me, “Shall we try swapping positions tonight?” I said to him, “That’s a good idea – you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart

He said to me, “What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?” I said to him
, “Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me, “Why don’t women blink during foreplay?” I said to him, “They don’t have time.”

He said to me, “How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?” I said to him, “I don’t know. It has never happened.


He said to me, “Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?” I said to him, “They already have boyfriends.”

He said to me, “What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?” I said to him, “A widow.

He said to me, “Why are married women heavier than single women?” I said to him, “Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed
. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.”

If you are the author of this or know the author, let me know and I will update this post. Or remove. Whichever floats your boat. Thanks.



  1. So many of these are true! I don’t know how men go for any length of time surviving on their own.

    • LOL. I know mine wouldn’t. And he’s not too ashamed to admit it.

  2. LOL..oooh, Dicey. I loved reading all of these! No. 8 is a winner..ha-ha

  3. Very funny. Actually liked a few that made me laugh! Mmmh The thinking man should come up with the opposite. Woman asks, man defends;) Have a good day smiling!

    • Yeah, Nadina! At least do one and share. The thinking man is funny.

  4. Come to think of it, Im not sure why anyone should marry! But unmarry and be merry… Lol

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