Good And Bad Feedback Welcomed.

I have a confession: Some days are harder than others when it comes to expressing myself creatively. Sometimes the ideas flow smoothly like a river after several days of rain. Other days, there are things in my brain that get in the way. I’ve noticed a major influence on my state of mind is the feedback I receive from readers. When someone is overjoyed about my books, I’m on cloud 9, so I write like I have a direct link to the heavens. It’s hell’s fire on the brain when the feedback is harsh.

But I’ve been lucky, thus far. Most has been positive. In fact, all the reviews on Amazon have made me smile. Big. I’m not dumb enough to think it’s going to remain that way though. Last week, I made the Kindle edition of both of my books FREE for forty-eight hours. With over two thousand downloads, I was excited to gain the exposure. Excited to know there was that much interest. Excited, knowing more reviews would pour in. Eventually. Hopefully. There will be some good, some bad, and everything in between. I just know it.

So I’m putting on my mental body armor. Shielding myself from comments that will keep me up at night pacing the floor, doubting myself. The sort of comments that will make finishing this sequel difficult because in the back of my mind I’d be thinking about what others think.

My strategy? In addition to focusing on 1) comments from readers who enjoy my work and their encouragement to keep going, 2) my maniacal drive to be the best I can be at ANYTHING, and 3) my betas wrapping me tightly with positivism and good vibes, I’ve been 4) stalking following those that I deem successful in their crafts. Following them to see how they deal with everything people have to say about their creations. Following authors, business people, actors, talk show hosts, musicians, models, athletes–everyone–to see how they respond to positive  feedback and how they handle criticism. Folks like Oprah and Beyonce’, who get criticized left and right, but still manage to be at the top of any list they are featured on.

I’ve mentioned on my blog before how much I enjoy Larissa Ione‘s books. And as much as I consider them FIVE STAR readings, there have been many others who think the Demonica series and the Lords of Deliverance (Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse) series are trash. WTF! You mean, two people can read the same book and walk away from it with polarizing views? Amazing, isn’t it? That’s the very reason I asked her this via email:

Dicey: “Two people can read the same book with one loving it and the other hating it. Having readers love your books is awesome, but how do you deal with criticism?”

And she was kind enough to respond back with this:

Larissa: “Okay, how do I deal with criticism? Well, honestly, it depends on the criticism. Some of it I can laugh off. I recently got a review on Amazon to the effect of “There were so many curse words that I wonder if the author can write a book without them.” Heh. And he can stop wondering because the answer is “Why the hell would I do that?” 🙂 In all seriousness, criticism can hurt, but I’ve learned to avoid reviews when I can. Sometimes they find you, but I don’t go intentionally looking for them. Also, the skin does thicken over time. Reviews that KILLED me when I first was published now are barely shrug-worthy. It’s a process!”

Dicey: I am seriously fan-girling over this. Thanks!

You know what I take away from this? 1) Laugh it off sometimes. Whenever you can, really. 2) If it’s a matter of taste, they can get another book. Writers don’t change  contents for readers. 3) Criticism may hurt, so avoid reading reviews if you can. 4) I’m still new to the game, but it’ll get easier over time.

LOVE IT! No, I don’t get paid for this endorsement. I just really love her books. And I like that she’s accessible to fans. She also said she was going to read mine, which tickles me senseless. She could have just been saying it to be nice, but whatever. I’ll take it.

Okay. I said I was watching LOTS of accomplished folks, right? Well, Tom Hardy is my crush/muse of the week. Really going on two weeks now. I LOVE him! He’s so crazy. Has a totally unbridled tongue. Doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He says what he wants, and whatever happens, happens. That’s my kinda guy. I lifted this from an interview he did with Novid Parsi, Time Out Chicago on February 15, 2012:

Novid: You’ve been a straight talker in interviews, saying you want adulation as an actor, you’ve sexually experimented with guys—not typical things to hear from a rising film star. Is it getting trickier to remain that publicly frank?

Tom: I have to be more careful about how outspoken I am, which is a shame ’cause things get taken out of context. And at the end of the day, 30 percent of the people are gonna hate you, 30 percent are gonna like you, and another 30 percent of people just don’t give a shit, so you’re really only talking to one in three.

Dicey: Oh, God. How can I meet Tom? We’ll make it a double date. Bring Charlotte. I’ll bring the hubby…

But seriously, he made a good point. One that’s been mentioned time and time again, without his sexy British accent: you can’t please everybody. *turning the finger back to myself* Dicey, you can’t please everyone. Don’t try. Just be grateful for the ones who get you.

That being said, I welcome ALL feedback on my books. If you love ’em, tell the world. If you don’t, tell the world. Make sure you tell them why though. Too much profanity? Too much sex? Too many controversial issues (ie. abortion, rape, interracial relationships, abuse, gore, homosexuality, deviant sex…)? Believe it or not–somebody’s going to think that’s a plus. Oh, yeah. 🙂

As of today, there are fifteen 5-star and six 4-star reviews for Sleepy Willow’s Bonded Soul: The Narcoleptic Vampire Series Book 1 on Amazon. There are three 5-star and one 4-star review for Shameful.

This calls for celebration! Cheers!

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2 Comments

  1. It looks to me like you have a good handle on how to deal with criticism. It isn’t easy for anyone, but there is a good way to deal with it and a not so good way. Someday, I’m going to put my book out there and then I’ll have to face both the lovers and the haters. I know that is the way it is and try to prepare myself for it.

    For whatever reason this blog post made me think of my cousin. She is one of those very sensitive people who has a difficult time dealing with criticism. I don’t know why, but a lot of people say mean things to her. Even her own mom and sister are harsh (I’ve seen it personally and it really ticks me off). One day she texted me asking if I ever felt the whole world hated me. I was guessing she had another bad day. Now I admit to being far more self confident than she is, but I still understand her plight since I wasn’t always this way. So I texted back “I just assume the whole world hates me and then it doesn’t bother me so much if it is only a few people”. She didn’t answer back on that one, lol, but since she always texts me again on her bad days.

    I think she just wants to hear my weird random responses to make her feel better. When I talk to her in person I’m a lot more in depth, but texting annoys me so I tend to keep it short. The fact of the matter is, I like myself just the way I am and figure anyone who doesn’t like me can kiss off. Once you figure out that you are who you are and become okay with that, the criticism of others doesn’t seem like such a big deal. This can translate in writing. Sure, we can always improve our craft, but the bottom line is “did you put the story out there that you felt was the best it could be and told what you wanted it to?”. If the answer is yes, and some people don’t get it, then that is okay. Stay true to yourself and there will be people who get your writing. Maybe you’ll even inspire some of them. I know you inspire me, so keep up the good work!

    • I’m so glad I’ve inspired you, Susan! Can’t wait to read what you’ve got cooking up. Are you writing in the paranormal genre?

      “I just assume the whole world hates me and then it doesn’t bother me so much if it is only a few people”.–LOVE IT!


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