[THEATER THURSDAY] 12 movies of the week.

My viewing and recommendation list for this week. *All 12 are spoiler-free.*

Maleficent–4 stars. Great effects. Angelina looked like she’d been born for the role. As with Frozen, I liked the twist on the old Disney love at first sight bs. It was also good to get the “villain’s” side of an iconic story. PG rating, but note it might be frightening and violent (a few non-bloody fight scenes) for younger viewers. Biggest con for me was Maleficent being so powerful…until the plot needed her to not be. She could do this and that, but when it was convenient for the script, suddenly, she had limitations and vulnerabilities. I didn’t get an explanation for that. Still, worth a watch. Maybe even for the whole family.

X-Men: Days of Future Past–4.5 stars. Michael Fassbender channeled Magneto well. I would have thought he was Eric Lensherr (older Magneto) if I didn’t know better. Magneto and Mystique are hands down my faves. Here, Wolverine went back in time to save the mutants. I usually find time travel confusing, so I’ll be spending some time on IMDB to fill in the gaps of my understanding on how the events in this movie affect the past and future of the franchise. This movie is really a big turning point. A great one.

That Awkward Moment–3.5 stars. Zac Efron, Miles Teller, and Michael B. Jordan did a good job with this predictably silly movie about a pact between bros to remain…hoes. It’s a romcom, I suppose, not to be taken too seriously. I’m not sure if it was the script or directing, but something about it just didn’t grab me as it should have with this cast and synopsis. Nope. Not even a shirtless Zac or Michael made me feel more for it.

GoT–I know it’s not a movie, but with a production like this, who cares? Um…that last episode (season 4 episode 8)–I can’t stop talking or thinking about it. You need to watch Game of Thrones, if you aren’t already. That’s all I’m saying.

Angels of Sex (El sexo de los รกngeles)–5 stars. I loved it. It’s streaming on Netflix (subtitled), so check it out IF<–Big IF–you can handle MMF scenes. I’ve gotten close to some of you fans over the past few years, so I know I have some followers who would enjoy it. I’m just warning the rest of you: This is NOT for everyone! There is a love triangle. There are explicit scenes. I’ve said enough.

White Frog–3 stars. The main character has Asperger’s Syndrome. That drew me to the story. Tyler Posey is in the cast. That may have had something to do with it too. :/ Ultimately, it’s about grief and acceptance. I was cool with all that. My problem was the After School Special vibeย that crept in towards the end. Almost ruined it for me. Also streaming on Netflix.

Kaboom–another 3-star movie for me. WTF happened within the last 10 minutes of this movie, man? I loved the fluid sexuality of the main character. I liked his friends. It would have been great as just another college debauchery film. Introduction of the apocalyptic plot was just way out there…and not in a good way. Maybe if the ending had slown down so it could sink in, it would have worked. I don’t know. I’ll have to chalk this up to it being directed by Gregg Araki. He’s one of those off-the-grid directors, and that normally works for me. I enjoyed: Mysterious Skin, The Doom Generation, and Splendor. 4-star efforts for me. I liked this one about as much as his movie Totally F***ked Up though. Kaboom isย streaming on Netflix, if you’re curious.

Stranger By The Lake (L’inconnu du lac)–4 stars. Streaming on Netflix. Subtitled. It is a gay hardcore film. If explicit sex scenes bother you–don’t even think about watching this one. It’s not porn, but you will mistake it as such. If you don’t like seeing full frontal male nudity or men getting it on–avoid it. There is not one woman in the whole film. It’s about a guy who cruises the beach for fun in the sun and falls for a guy he shouldn’t. It moves slowly, which I didn’t mind. The ending was another WTF moment though. Seriously. W.T.F.

Pompeii–3.5 stars. I won’t lie–I watched this because Kit Harington plays the lead, and he’s hot. That’s it. I usually like these period pieces, but I could tell from the preview, it wouldn’t offer much else. Well, I was sort of wrong. It also had Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who I’ve loved since Oz (1997). And other viewers may appreciate seeing Keifer Sutherland. Beyond seeing them on the big screen, this movie didn’t have much going for it, especially in originality. This is really Gladiator meets Volcano meets The Titanic…meets Game of Thrones. If you know the history of Pompeii, then you will be more prepared for the ending than I was. Just made the whole movie seem pointless. Kit played the character the same way he does Jon Snow on Game of Thrones so…I’m not sure whether that’s good or bad. Overall, not a bad way to spend 105 minutes. Just not great.

Demons Never Die–3.5 stars. Um…so I’ve been crushing on Irish actor, Robert Sheehan, for a while now, ever since I became obsessed with the show Misfits (BBC). I watched this movie because I watch all of his movies, dammit. It was an added bonus to see Jacob Anderson play Sachin, since I’ve grown very fond of him on Game of Thrones as Grey Worm. Additionally, Idris Elba produced this movie. What? Yep. I saw him in the credits, then confirmed it on IMDB. The kids in the movie have a suicide pact until they realize they have something to live for. Of course, that’s when someone starts killing them off. Those expecting this to be a horror film will be gravely disappointed, as I’ve surmised from other reviews. Yes, it is a slasher/whodunnit movie, but if you go into it looking more at the characters, their relationships, and the underlying message of unity and love, it will be more enjoyable. Just forget that sh*t that happens at the end when they reveal the killer. That was just out of left field and will ruin it for you. Or you could just ogle Robert Sheehan as I did.

DAMN. I watched a lot of movies this week.

YPF–4 stars. It stands for Young People F***ing. And that’s just what it is. It’s about several couples over the course of an evening. Their interactions are broken up into the following phases: Introduction, Prelude, Foreplay, Sex, Interlude, Orgasm, and Afterglow. Not much more to say about it other than it’s a raunchy, predictable comedy.

Lastly…

Ten Inch Hero–4 stars. It got corny towards the end, but I thought it was cute and funny throughout. Ok, ok. I watched it because Jensen Ackles (Dean Winchester) is in it. You got me. It’s still pretty good though. Likeable characters with some surprises along the way.

On another note–WOW. I have never had so many things to tag in one blog post.