Today is My #BookRelease Day and I’m STOKED…

swrs-release-day-blog-post…for now.

I have to ride this natural high for as long as possible… before the dreaded depression sets in.

You: Huh? Depression? What are you talking about, Dicey?

Me: It’s true. I work hard to write original stories, to convey my innermost demons in such a way that they can be understood and entertaining. I put in countless hours, writing when most of the world is asleep. Sometimes, I neglect other duties for the sake of focusing on my passion. I immerse myself in my characters and their worlds, and I make sure I’ve edited it well.

So when I’m done writing a story from beginning to end, I’m super excited. Over the fucking moon, excited. I’m on top of the world, because I KNOW I’m a bonafide #badass. You know it too, because you’ll congratulate me. You’ll tell me how much I inspire you. You’ll ask for my assistance in writing your own book and getting it out to the public. And an even smaller number of you, who actually read my books, will buy it immediately. You want to not only support me as an artist, but you want to enjoy my latest work.

Thank you! I love you.

What you don’t know is that a day or so later, after my book is out, my feeling of accomplishment dies. I need to do something else to make up for my feelings of failure. Yes. Within days after achieving something so remarkable, I feel like a failure. Believe me–I know that’s ridiculous, but it’s the truth.

You: Dicey, how is this possible?

Me: Because you don’t see how bad I want it. IT. Success. How badly I want to be recognized for my work. How badly I want to be appreciated. How badly I want to NOT be mediocre. I don’t want to just sell a few books and get a handful of reviews. I want the WORLD to read my filth and have an opinion about it, good or bad. I want my books to be discussed, and for “Dicey Grenor” to be a well-known author name like so many others that don’t have anything more special to contribute to the literary world than I do. I think my work is up to par. What I don’t have is the wide net that others do, and that bothers me. It does.

I swear to god, I am working so hard at staying positive. My husband will tell you all the things I go through that YOU don’t see. Focusing on those of you who share my work and show appreciation is difficult, because I’m OCD enough to see the ones who aren’t and won’t. The ones who have their hands out aaallll the time asking what I can do for them, and won’t bother to support me. I SEE THEM. I see the ones who I’ve supported through the years and how they ignore my achievements, MY requests for support. And I’m trying my damnedest not to. I want to ignore them and see YOU, my supporters. Okay? I’m working on that. If I get it right this time, maybe I can avoid the depression stage. I want that for myself. I deserve it.

You don’t know how bad I want to ignore that some folks in my feed shared Rachel Dolezal’s book in mockery of her being a white woman capitalizing off the black experience, while I, as a black female writer, can’t get them to share a link about my book not even once. They won’t like my FB author page. Won’t like an IG post. Nothing. But they shared her book. They don’t even realize they gave her publicity and perpetuated the very thing they want to extinguish. But it’s okay. I had some pretty supportive friends, who did not share her book, but made sure I had a voice today. While you’re out screaming “fight the power” and doing nothing to help black artists, I’m doing my best to focus on the folks who actually support this marginalized writer. It’s hard, but I’m going to try harder.

With that in mind, here’s some good news: I had 60 people give me permission to tag their FB pages with my book promo today–YAY! That’s progress from the blip in the social mediasphere I’ve made in the past. I reached out to two authors privately that I’ve supported in the past and haven’t chatted with in a while, and one agreed to help. That’s progress. I got some retweets on Twitter and some faves on IG. That’s all progress.

Each of you who showed your support for my T E N T H book release today (SLEEPY WILLOW’S REDEEMED SOUL, The Narcoleptic Vampire Series Vol. 4), my first in two years, have my heartfelt gratitude. I hope you and some of your friends will gSleepyWillow'sBondedSoul.Ebookive my books a chance. I’m going to keep doing what I love. I’m going to keep trying to stay positive about it. I hope you’ll be part of this process, but that’s your choice. I’ll tell you what though–if you’re not, don’t come looking for my help later. Deal?

If you’re new to my books, and want to start at the beginning of my erotic urban fantasy series, I’d be happy to have you as part of my fandom. This is SLEEPY WILLOW’S BONDED SOUL (The Narcoleptic Vampire Series Vol. 1).

If you’re feeling particularly inspired to support me, this is The Narcoleptic Vampire Series box set of the first five books in the series:

Dicey_Box_Set 3D Cover

 

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“With a Mind to Achieve” #IndieThursday #Author Guest Post @ProfessorWhen

There are several people I’ve never met before in person that I just click with from afar. In this case–waaaaaaaay far. North America to Australia far. But Wayne and I have been “hanging out” on social media for a few years now. And we’ve been having a grand time. What makes him so special–I can always count on him to engage. By that I mean, he doesn’t just drop a “hey, girl, buy my book” message and disappear. We actually interact regularly, if not daily, on Twitter and FB. I’ve come to know his wife, as well, and consider them genuinely sweet people. It is the development of relationships like this that makes me absolutely love the internet. People I wouldn’t ordinarily be able to meet, are just a fingertip away.

So, I invited Wayne to hang out with us today on my blog. Let’s see what he has to say…

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Hello, Dicey. Thank you for inviting me to be a part of your blog. It’s great to be involved.

“With a Mind to Achieve.”

I have always loved the writing process, and I always excelled in my English literature classes at school. There was a time when I would tell people that I began writing my novel in 1988, but I have since found some hand-written chapters that were dated years earlier than that. However, as an engineering technician, and a husband and father, it was difficult to find the time for my “creative stuff”. As the son of a wharf labourer (yes, spelling in Australia is different to US spelling 🙂 ), who grew up in a wharf suburb of a steel and coal town, I was considered strange by many for even being interested in the “creative stuff”.

I have learned perseverence and a different thought process are important! As Dr. Seuss said, “You have to be odd to be nu12202166_10205477211878345_1054290340_nmber one.”

Last century, I only sent my manuscript off to publishers on a few occasions before putting it in a drawer to wait for “more favourable times”. It was a time of ALL POWER to the publisher. I still remember my disgust on the last occasion that 32 of my printed chapters were returned to me with a note saying it wasn’t suitable for that publisher’s list. The pages were pristine and they were still in their original wrapping! I had gone through the effort and cost of sending hundreds of pages halfway around the world so that some publishing prat could move it from his in-tray to his out-tray.

I didn’t give up, and now “more favourable times” have arrived, I am pleased to say. I have now self-published my fantasy novel, To the Honour of the Kings as of August 2011. It is an action-packed love story with struggle and battles and deceit and the loss of innocence …and a hint of magic …with a twist! It runs on more than one level and has some deeper messages that won’t be apparent if the reader likes to whisk through a story. I have had readers say to me “I enjoyed your book. 12202169_10205477208398258_2112933217_nIt was a really good read.” I have thanked them for their feedback, but have sadly thought to myself, “Oh, they missed it.”

My success book was self-published in March 2011. It deals with a lifetime of trying to work out how to actually live a life. We all muddle through in the absence of a User’s Manual. Lindi and I taught personal development courses with a group of friends back in the 1990s, using some of our real life experiences to help others. I see myself as a bit of an expert on balance, because I’ve spent a large proportion of my life trying to achieve it without actually even getting close. We learn more from failure rather than from success.

Susan Jeffers pointed out in her wonderful, life-changing book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, that a plane flying from one city to another is off course most of the time. Multiple corrections during the flight make the difference between arriving safely at the destination …or not. Balance is about:

1. Review

2. Change

3. Find balance

4. Repeat the Process!

A whole chapter in my book is devoted to balance. Sample chapters of both books (as well as some of my artwork and an article on the Dracula Stage Production I’m in) are on my Reflective Bubble website.

Wishing you all, success and balance.

Wayne

Wayne’s Bio: I am an Australian author who lives near Australia’s largest salt water lake, just north of Sydney in New South Wales (NSW). I am married to Lindi, and we have a beautiful, close family – a daughter, son, and their families (including two grandchildren under the age of six).

I am passionate about the creative process. One of my books is a fantasy novel. The other is a success book. A couple of film scripts are in process as well as an oil portrait that I intend on submitting in 2016 for some Portraiture prizes. I run a media business with emphasis on photography and videography and protecting my clients’ corporate identity. I will be in rehearsals soon for a musical stage play based on Bram Stoker’s Dracula, as Dr. Seward (who runs the Asylum where Renfield is an inmate). My Reflective Bubble Creative Arts Magazine website (www.ReflectiveBubble.com) is another one of my works-in-progress. Also, I have recently become the WebMaster for the NSW Fellowship of Australian Writers (www.FAWNSW.org.au).

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Thanks for your words of wisdom, Wayne, and for being such a cool social media buddy! Perseverance, balance, and creativity are necessary in having a mind to achieve and succeed.