Today is My #BookRelease Day and I’m STOKED…

swrs-release-day-blog-post…for now.

I have to ride this natural high for as long as possible… before the dreaded depression sets in.

You: Huh? Depression? What are you talking about, Dicey?

Me: It’s true. I work hard to write original stories, to convey my innermost demons in such a way that they can be understood and entertaining. I put in countless hours, writing when most of the world is asleep. Sometimes, I neglect other duties for the sake of focusing on my passion. I immerse myself in my characters and their worlds, and I make sure I’ve edited it well.

So when I’m done writing a story from beginning to end, I’m super excited. Over the fucking moon, excited. I’m on top of the world, because I KNOW I’m a bonafide #badass. You know it too, because you’ll congratulate me. You’ll tell me how much I inspire you. You’ll ask for my assistance in writing your own book and getting it out to the public. And an even smaller number of you, who actually read my books, will buy it immediately. You want to not only support me as an artist, but you want to enjoy my latest work.

Thank you! I love you.

What you don’t know is that a day or so later, after my book is out, my feeling of accomplishment dies. I need to do something else to make up for my feelings of failure. Yes. Within days after achieving something so remarkable, I feel like a failure. Believe me–I know that’s ridiculous, but it’s the truth.

You: Dicey, how is this possible?

Me: Because you don’t see how bad I want it. IT. Success. How badly I want to be recognized for my work. How badly I want to be appreciated. How badly I want to NOT be mediocre. I don’t want to just sell a few books and get a handful of reviews. I want the WORLD to read my filth and have an opinion about it, good or bad. I want my books to be discussed, and for “Dicey Grenor” to be a well-known author name like so many others that don’t have anything more special to contribute to the literary world than I do. I think my work is up to par. What I don’t have is the wide net that others do, and that bothers me. It does.

I swear to god, I am working so hard at staying positive. My husband will tell you all the things I go through that YOU don’t see. Focusing on those of you who share my work and show appreciation is difficult, because I’m OCD enough to see the ones who aren’t and won’t. The ones who have their hands out aaallll the time asking what I can do for them, and won’t bother to support me. I SEE THEM. I see the ones who I’ve supported through the years and how they ignore my achievements, MY requests for support. And I’m trying my damnedest not to. I want to ignore them and see YOU, my supporters. Okay? I’m working on that. If I get it right this time, maybe I can avoid the depression stage. I want that for myself. I deserve it.

You don’t know how bad I want to ignore that some folks in my feed shared Rachel Dolezal’s book in mockery of her being a white woman capitalizing off the black experience, while I, as a black female writer, can’t get them to share a link about my book not even once. They won’t like my FB author page. Won’t like an IG post. Nothing. But they shared her book. They don’t even realize they gave her publicity and perpetuated the very thing they want to extinguish. But it’s okay. I had some pretty supportive friends, who did not share her book, but made sure I had a voice today. While you’re out screaming “fight the power” and doing nothing to help black artists, I’m doing my best to focus on the folks who actually support this marginalized writer. It’s hard, but I’m going to try harder.

With that in mind, here’s some good news: I had 60 people give me permission to tag their FB pages with my book promo today–YAY! That’s progress from the blip in the social mediasphere I’ve made in the past. I reached out to two authors privately that I’ve supported in the past and haven’t chatted with in a while, and one agreed to help. That’s progress. I got some retweets on Twitter and some faves on IG. That’s all progress.

Each of you who showed your support for my T E N T H book release today (SLEEPY WILLOW’S REDEEMED SOUL, The Narcoleptic Vampire Series Vol. 4), my first in two years, have my heartfelt gratitude. I hope you and some of your friends will gSleepyWillow'sBondedSoul.Ebookive my books a chance. I’m going to keep doing what I love. I’m going to keep trying to stay positive about it. I hope you’ll be part of this process, but that’s your choice. I’ll tell you what though–if you’re not, don’t come looking for my help later. Deal?

If you’re new to my books, and want to start at the beginning of my erotic urban fantasy series, I’d be happy to have you as part of my fandom. This is SLEEPY WILLOW’S BONDED SOUL (The Narcoleptic Vampire Series Vol. 1).

If you’re feeling particularly inspired to support me, this is The Narcoleptic Vampire Series box set of the first five books in the series:

Dicey_Box_Set 3D Cover

 

Thanksgiving = Family & Friends Day. #TeamSinEaters #IndieThursday~Guest Post @KaiLeakes

Kai Leakes is an awesome author, well overdue for some major literary recognition. In addition to her writing achievements, any author proudly supporting #WeNeedDiverseBooks is beyond awesome to me. I invited her to be on my blog today, because I’d like to do what I can to share her awesomeness with the world. Aaaaannnd…since it’s November 19th, what better way to introduce Kai than by sharing her words on THANKSGIVING?

Kai pic 3

Kai pic 2

Greetings and hello to Dicey’s fans and my fellow #teamsineaters/cursed!

Delving into the world of Fantasy, Pararomance, Dark Fantasy, Horror (as some say), and most recently contemporary romance, I am Kai Leakes, the author of Sin Eaters Devotion Book Series, the book short follow-up Rebel Guardians: Sin Eaters Chronicles Book One, current short stories – Love, Lies, and Pleasure: A Brothers of Kemet Story (Romance) and Free Your Mind (a cyberpunk short). Thank you so much to Dicey for allowing me to share her blog for this moment and share who I am and what I write. Allow me to give you my short background:

Born in Iowa, but later relocating and raised in Alton, IL and St. Louis, MO, Kai Leakes was an imaginative Midwestern child, who gained an addiction to books at an early age. The art of imagination was the very start of Kai’s path of writing which lead her to creating the Sin Eaters: Devotion Books Series. Since a young child, her love for creating, vibrant romance and fantasy driven mystical tales, continues to be a major part of her very DNA. With the goal of sharing tales that entertain and add color to a gray literary world, Kai Leakes hopes to continue to reach out to those who love the same fantasy, paranormal, romantic, sci/fi, and soon, steampunk driven worlds that shaped her unique multi-faceted and diverse vision. Kai pic 1

Thanksgiving (or as I call it Family & Friends Day) is coming up, and I want to speak about being thankful. My journey as an emerging writer and stepping into the role of author has been rewarding but difficult. Learning how to take the steps to tighten my writing and create a plan in marketing myself continues to be a struggle. But with having a foundation under you and a support network around you, becoming a writer can be a great adventure. Trust in yourself! I’m thankful for that (my support) and thankful for my readers and followers. Thankful for those who have taken a chance on my writing, and love my books, and thankful for those who’ve gone the extra step in wishing to embody some of my characters in the Sin Eaters series, as well as talking in length about the series. I’m still learning and attempting to get better so that I can reach my goals in my career as an author and continue to bring stories that my readers never forget. Contact and follow me anytime for any questions or to talk.

Thank you and Happy up-coming Family and Friends Day.

Kai Leakes (The Light Always Prevails -K.L.)

You can find Kai Leakes at:

Website: www.kwhp5f.wix.com/kai-leakes

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJkgUZTDZYk

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kaileakesbooks

Twitter: @kaileakes

Blogger: http://kaileakes.blogspot.com/

Myspace: https://myspace.com/thatstlphoenix

Tumblr: http://kaileakes.tumblr.com/

Ever feel as if you are not alone, that you are protected by an unseen force? Have you ever caught a glimpse of a shadow in the corner of your eye? Don’t blink! Trust in it, for you are being protected from that wKai pic 4hich hunts and harms.

My ‘Sineaters’ are out in the streets. Namely, the streets of Chicago and St. Louis, battling on our behalf for our humanity and safety. The battle is still growing, the revolution is now!

Take a glimpse in the world of the Nephilim as they fight to protect us all from Darkness, in Sin Eaters: Devotion Book One, Sin Eaters: Retribution – Devotion Book Two, and Rebel Guardians: Sin Eaters Chronicles BTB One out everywhere!

Amazon: http://goo.gl/LyvUc5

Barnes and Noble: http://goo.gl/MIZ2Au

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In the spirit of Thanksgiving–thanks for joining me on my blog today, Kai! I hope you have a fabulous time with your friends and family next week.