Writing Sex Scenes Part II.

I’ve only completed two novels–that’s the disclaimer. Readers have commented on how much they love the sex scenes in my books–that’s my validation. That’s what qualifies me to give tips. I don’t purport to be an expert. I don’t pretend these will work for everyone. I’m sure others write better scenes…or ones more suitable to particular tastes. But I have had some experience with it. And since I’m still a lowly indie author, I’ll actually take the time to share my techniques with you.

WARNING: This is another post for the grown and sexy. Do NOT read further if discussions about sex offend you…and you happened to have missed the title.

Last week, Thomas Bryant and I discussed writing sex scenes. It was short. It was funny. And it was a good intro to today’s tips for writing sex scenes. You can read it here.

After said post, fellow indie author, Alesha Escobar, had this to say: “Okay, I confess I’m still a wimp when it comes to this. If I’m feeling awkward, it’s going to come across in the scene–then I just look like a dork. I know I’m supposed to stay away from purple prose and laughable metaphors. So any advice? :-)

Thomas Bryant’s advice: “I did mention a bottle of wine, didn’t I, Alesha?”

I agree with Thomas. Wine does help.

Here are some other tips for writing sex scenes:

1. Enjoy sex. Enjoy talking about it. Enjoy watching it. Enjoy reading it. Enjoy writing it.

Why? Because…

a. If you enjoy sex and make it a daily part of your discussions, thoughts, and lifestyle, that passion will translate on paper.

b. If you don’t enjoy it, you’ll hurry through a scene. You’ll have a bunch of words with no depth. You’ll just be going through the motions and so will your characters.

c. The more you enjoy sexy situations, the more you will write them. The more you write sex scenes, the better you get at sex writing sex scenes. 🙂

Downside: you may go overboard. I have been told by one reader to tone DOWN the sex a bit. So, take my tips with a grain of salt. Decide how important your sex scenes are to your story and prepare accordingly. My characters are sexy, wild, daring, and risky. So sex is pretty integral. I keep the characters in mind, not readers. My target audience will love the characters AND the sex scenes.

Which leads me to…

2. Forget everybody else. If you’re thinking about what your mommy, preacher, children or whomever are going to think, you won’t be able to let your characters go in order to do what they want to do. You’re writing fiction. Later for whoever doesn’t get that.

3. Get in a sexy mind frame before you start writing a scene. If you’re doing #1, this will be easy. And this is where Bryant’s suggestion of wine helps. I like to create a sexy atmosphere. Visualize what my characters are going to do. Then describe it as if I am in the moment with them. Freaky? Maybe. But it works.

4. Read lots of sex scenes. Figure out who writes the ones you enjoy the most. Figure out why. Learn from that author.

I’ve read LOTS of books. Discovered I liked books with sex in them the most (which is why YA is not my favorite genre). Disliked the overly sappy ones. Disliked the solely erotic ones. Enjoyed a good plot with good sex scenes the best. Once I started reading J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood, I was ruined for other authors. I discovered I liked the choppy style. The fast-paced, raunchy way of describing the acts. And that’s where I adopted my style from. It’s uniquely mine, but highly influenced by hers.

Find your influence. Roll with it.

5. Don’t be awkward. Be fun. Be sexy.

How?

Remember that sex is a natural part of life. As far as I know, we all come with genitalia and the urge to use them for more than bodily functions. In fact, with nearly seven billion people in the world, it’s obvious there’s a lot of sex going on. It should be celebrated. Revered.

Don’t feel embarrassed. Don’t feel shy. Keep in mind you’re writing about something everybody does…or wish they did. It’s what people do behind closed doors. And that’s where they’re going to read your books with YOUR sex scenes.

6. Write the scenes as your characters would experience them. You’re just the narrator. They are the participants. My character, Joanne, in Shameful does some bad stuff…but none of that is as bad as what my character, Willow, does in Sleepy Willow’s Bonded Soul. Why? Because Willow’s a vampire based in fantasy and Joanne’s a wife and mother based in reality. Willow and Joanne both have sex, but their experiences are very different because of who they are.

These are tips from the top of my head. I’ll do a Part III when I think of more. If you’re an author with a tip to share, by all means–leave a comment.

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Writing Sex Scenes.

Well-known authors and those published through traditional publishers, get plenty of exposure. And though I’ve read, and still do read many of those books, I also support indie authors. In fact, I intend to feature several on my blog via guest blogging, interviews, and reviews.

Today, Thomas Bryant, indie author of LONG GONE, answers a few questions about writing sex scenes. You can follow his blog here.

And this is where I post a WARNING TO READERS: IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY DISCUSSIONS ABOUT SEX, STOP READING NOW.

Because that is what Thomas and I are discussing. I mean, the title should have been a tip-off.

You’ve been warned.

1. How do you prepare to write a sex scene?

Thomas: I get out a bottle of wine and make sure I’ve a condom or five. LOL seriously I put myself in the frame of mind of the partners. This will vary, depending on whether it’s married sex or single-sex. Married sex might go something like this: Marge came out in her good robe and when she bent over, I thought ‘hell I can watch Bonanza any time.’ And single-sex might go something like this: There she was, with a saddle and a pair of jumper cables.

Okay, this time I’m really serious. This is the scene that I wanna do as soon as I begin writing for the day because my energy is high and, like sex, I want to take my time. I will expend a lot of energy on this scene as my partners take each other in with all of their five and maybe even six senses.

Dicey: Okay. Honestly, you really had me rolling with the first line.

2. Do you find it easier or harder than writing an action scene?

Thomas: I wouldn’t classify it under easier or harder. I would say it is a lot more time-consuming and more critical than any other scene. More than any other scene, my words have to flow like poetry. And it is most critical that my characters and their surroundings appear absolutely vivid and multidimensional while the tempo in my writing must reflect the rhythm and pace of the scene as well as the characters.

Dicey: I find pacing and vividness very critical too.

3. Is there anything you refuse to write in a sex scene?

Thomas: Yes! I could never write scenes that might be considered kiddie porn or male homosexual sex. I have to be able to put myself in the frame of mind of my characters and that would be impossible to do in these scenarios. Now, I know what you’re thinking: ‘well what about lesbian sex?’ And the short answer is, I could write those. I never have, but I know that I could put myself in between those characters. I think most guys have put themselves in that position, in fantasy or reality at some point. I’m sorry, did I say short answer? For some reason, I seem to have belabored my point. And I meant to say in the frame of mind of those characters and not in between them. Must’ve been a Freudian slip.

Dicey: LMAO! Belaboring your point was effective in this instance.

I do have to say that we differ on the male homosexual sex though. I can’t wait to write an upcoming scene of the sort. I love reading these scenes from other authors and this will be a first at writing one for me.

And man…I sure hope the scenes in my novel SHAMEFUL between Joanne (39) and Alex (16) aren’t considered kiddie porn.

Thanks, Thomas!

More indie authors to come.

Read Part II here.