[THEATER THURSDAY] 12 movies of the week.

My viewing and recommendation list for this week. *All 12 are spoiler-free.*

Maleficent–4 stars. Great effects. Angelina looked like she’d been born for the role. As with Frozen, I liked the twist on the old Disney love at first sight bs. It was also good to get the “villain’s” side of an iconic story. PG rating, but note it might be frightening and violent (a few non-bloody fight scenes) for younger viewers. Biggest con for me was Maleficent being so powerful…until the plot needed her to not be. She could do this and that, but when it was convenient for the script, suddenly, she had limitations and vulnerabilities. I didn’t get an explanation for that. Still, worth a watch. Maybe even for the whole family.

X-Men: Days of Future Past–4.5 stars. Michael Fassbender channeled Magneto well. I would have thought he was Eric Lensherr (older Magneto) if I didn’t know better. Magneto and Mystique are hands down my faves. Here, Wolverine went back in time to save the mutants. I usually find time travel confusing, so I’ll be spending some time on IMDB to fill in the gaps of my understanding on how the events in this movie affect the past and future of the franchise. This movie is really a big turning point. A great one.

That Awkward Moment–3.5 stars. Zac Efron, Miles Teller, and Michael B. Jordan did a good job with this predictably silly movie about a pact between bros to remain…hoes. It’s a romcom, I suppose, not to be taken too seriously. I’m not sure if it was the script or directing, but something about it just didn’t grab me as it should have with this cast and synopsis. Nope. Not even a shirtless Zac or Michael made me feel more for it.

GoT–I know it’s not a movie, but with a production like this, who cares? Um…that last episode (season 4 episode 8)–I can’t stop talking or thinking about it. You need to watch Game of Thrones, if you aren’t already. That’s all I’m saying.

Angels of Sex (El sexo de los ángeles)–5 stars. I loved it. It’s streaming on Netflix (subtitled), so check it out IF<–Big IF–you can handle MMF scenes. I’ve gotten close to some of you fans over the past few years, so I know I have some followers who would enjoy it. I’m just warning the rest of you: This is NOT for everyone! There is a love triangle. There are explicit scenes. I’ve said enough.

White Frog–3 stars. The main character has Asperger’s Syndrome. That drew me to the story. Tyler Posey is in the cast. That may have had something to do with it too. Ultimately, it’s about grief and acceptance. I was cool with all that. My problem was the After School Special vibe that crept in towards the end. Almost ruined it for me. Also streaming on Netflix.

Kaboom–another 3-star movie for me. WTF happened within the last 10 minutes of this movie, man? I loved the fluid sexuality of the main character. I liked his friends. It would have been great as just another college debauchery film. Introduction of the apocalyptic plot was just way out there…and not in a good way. Maybe if the ending had slown down so it could sink in, it would have worked. I don’t know. I’ll have to chalk this up to it being directed by Gregg Araki. He’s one of those off-the-grid directors, and that normally works for me. I enjoyed: Mysterious Skin, The Doom Generation, and Splendor. 4-star efforts for me. I liked this one about as much as his movie Totally F***ked Up though. Kaboom is streaming on Netflix, if you’re curious.

Stranger By The Lake (L’inconnu du lac)–4 stars. Streaming on Netflix. Subtitled. It is a gay hardcore film. If explicit sex scenes bother you–don’t even think about watching this one. It’s not porn, but you will mistake it as such. If you don’t like seeing full frontal male nudity or men getting it on–avoid it. There is not one woman in the whole film. It’s about a guy who cruises the beach for fun in the sun and falls for a guy he shouldn’t. It moves slowly, which I didn’t mind. The ending was another WTF moment though. Seriously. W.T.F.

Pompeii–3.5 stars. I won’t lie–I watched this because Kit Harington plays the lead, and he’s hot. That’s it. I usually like these period pieces, but I could tell from the preview, it wouldn’t offer much else. Well, I was sort of wrong. It also had Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who I’ve loved since Oz (1997). And other viewers may appreciate seeing Keifer Sutherland. Beyond seeing them on the big screen, this movie didn’t have much going for it, especially in originality. This is really Gladiator meets Volcano meets The Titanic…meets Game of Thrones. If you know the history of Pompeii, then you will be more prepared for the ending than I was. Just made the whole movie seem pointless. Kit played the character the same way he does Jon Snow on Game of Thrones so…I’m not sure whether that’s good or bad. Overall, not a bad way to spend 105 minutes. Just not great.

Demons Never Die–3.5 stars. Um…so I’ve been crushing on Irish actor, Robert Sheehan, for a while now, ever since I became obsessed with the show Misfits (BBC). I watched this movie because I watch all of his movies, dammit. It was an added bonus to see Jacob Anderson play Sachin, since I’ve grown very fond of him on Game of Thrones as Grey Worm. Additionally, Idris Elba produced this movie. What? Yep. I saw him in the credits, then confirmed it on IMDB. The kids in the movie have a suicide pact until they realize they have something to live for. Of course, that’s when someone starts killing them off. Those expecting this to be a horror film will be gravely disappointed, as I’ve surmised from other reviews. Yes, it is a slasher/whodunnit movie, but if you go into it looking more at the characters, their relationships, and the underlying message of unity and love, it will be more enjoyable. Just forget that sh*t that happens at the end when they reveal the killer. That was just out of left field and will ruin it for you. Or you could just ogle Robert Sheehan as I did.

DAMN. I watched a lot of movies this week.

YPF–4 stars. It stands for Young People F***ing. And that’s just what it is. It’s about several couples over the course of an evening. Their interactions are broken up into the following phases: Introduction, Prelude, Foreplay, Sex, Interlude, Orgasm, and Afterglow. Not much more to say about it other than it’s a raunchy, predictable comedy.

Lastly…

Ten Inch Hero–4 stars. It got corny towards the end, but I thought it was cute and funny throughout. Ok, ok. I watched it because Jensen Ackles (Dean Winchester) is in it. You got me. It’s still pretty good though. Likeable characters with some surprises along the way.

On another note–WOW. I have never had so many things to tag in one blog post.

Dicey’s Must-See TV List.

Okay, my birthday and anniversary have come and gone. Thanks for the well wishes. Thanks for downloading my books. Now, it’s time to move on to REALLY important stuff. The kind of stuff that has me staying up all night to watch back-to-back episodes. And screaming on the phone with friends because a favorite character did Lord knows what, or even worse, DIED :(. After so many rigged contests and poorly scripted “reality” shows, it’s good to have something worth turning the tube on for. This (drum roll please) is Dicey’s spoiler-free MUST-SEE TV list.

Oh, my gosh. Where to start…? I’d like to be able to tell you they are in no particular order, but they kind of are. That being said, the 1st 6 are tied at #1 because my life would be incomplete without any one of them.

1. Sons of Anarchy (FX, 5th Season, Tues. 10 ET/PT) *takes a breath* I LOVE some of the characters. I HATE some of the characters. Whenever a show pulls on my emotions the way this one does? That’s good writing right there. At a glance, this did not look like something I’d be interested in. I saw a white biker gang and thought WTF? Ha! Watching Charlie Hunnam play Jax was a major reason I got through the first 8 episodes. Then something happened and I realized I wasn’t just watching him anymore. I cared about what happened with SAMCRO (the club) and Charming (the town) and…this show had me hooked in a major way. It is about a family (and that includes the motorcycle club) doing what they can to survive. They run guns, drugs, prostitutes, porn… whatever. The streets are hard. The journey is rough. They get their hussle on. Some don’t make it, but the family finds a way to get by. *sniff* Sorry. I’m still reeling from the last two episodes. We lost one of our own. They are not playing around this season.

2. The Walking Dead (AMC, 3rd Season, Sun. 9/8 C) I’m about to jump out of my skin with excitement as I type this. This show is off the chain! It caught me by surprise. The first season’s only 6 episodes. I thought, “Well, I’ll give it a shot.” Boy, am I glad I did. Hubby and I stayed up until 4:30 AM to watch them. Season 2 was even better. You know how in 28 Days Later (2002) Cillian Murphy’s character wakes up in a hospital and finds that the world has gone to hell in a handbasket? Well, that’s what happens here. The zombie virus has spread like a wildfire, and anyone left alive has to fight for survival. They have to kill or be killed. It’s VIOLENT. It’s BLOODY. Horrific things happen. The zombie makeup/costumes are stellar. The writing is gripping. You will fall in love with the characters and wonder which one would you be more like if you were in their situation. Both seasons are on Netflix instant. Start watching now so you can be ready for the season 3 premiere on Oct. 14th. I can not wait!

3. Spartacus (Starz, Season 3 premieres Jan. 2013) The seasons are broken up like this: Spartacus, season 1 (Blood and Sand), Spartacus, 6-episode prequel (Gods of the Arena), and Spartacus season 2 (Vengeance). Wow. Just W-O-W. This show is an unapologetic chronicle of Spartacus’s life as a Gladiator in the arena and how he goes on to lead the slave revolt against the Roman Republic. If you don’t mind full frontal nudity, graphic violence, excessive blood, and explicit sex scenes, you need to watch this show immediately. EPIC TV. Think Gladiator (2000) and 300 (2006) rolled into one. Around episode 4 of season 2, I thought, “They can’t get any better than this. They have really outdone themselves.” You know what? Episode 5 and 6 and 7, 8, 9, and 10 were PHENOMENAL too. They kept the momentum up and gave me some of the best TV watching hours of my life. *taking a deep breath* I wish there were more than ten episodes per season, but I understand it must cost a LOT to put on a production of this magnitude.

Sadly, Andy Whitfield had to take a break after season 1 due to his health. The show tried to hold out for him to get better, hence the prequel, but things didn’t go the way we ALL hoped they would, and Andy later died of cancer. 😦 He OWNED the role of Spartacus. Recasting him with Liam McIntyre was a difficult thing to do, but no one was to blame for it. Getting used to him took much time and effort, but I’m grateful the show managed to go on. I prefer the old Naevia too. But as much as I miss the old actors (Andy will forever be missed), the writing on this show is so good, I was finally able to overlook the casting changes.

Talk about loving and hating some characters–OMG! This show has some of the best heroes and worst villains in history. And that’s probably true for real history. It comes back in January with Spartacus (War of the Damned). My tube will be on an hour before just to make sure I don’t miss a thing. The bad thing is that I’ve heard this will be the last season…and that makes me soooo sad.

P.S. I’d like to meet the show’s executive producer/creator Steven S. DeKnight one day. He HAS to be one heck of a person to have had this vision and pulled it off. I think he would love my narcoleptic vampire series.

4. Dexter (Showtime, 7th season, Sun. 9 ET/PT) Dexter is a serial killer who kills serial killers. GENIUS! He works in the Miami PD crime lab as a blood spatter expert and helps to solve murders. When he suspects someone is a serial killer, they better hope his sister, Debra, who is a detective on the force, finds the perp first. Dexter doesn’t play. He does not break character. He will kill yo’ ass. Friends, family…it doesn’t matter. He does his best to follow a code his adoptive father taught him when he anticipated Dexter may have a dark passenger, but sometimes the darkness in Dexter wins. It’s bloody. It’s violent. The sex scenes are terrible. The casting is perfect! The writing is excellent, as in edge-of-your-seat-what-will-happen-next? excellent. Some seasons are better than others, but I highly recommend them all. The current season came in with a mother-freaking bang last week. I will be glued to my tube this coming Sunday as well.

5. The Vampire Diaries (CW, 4th Season, Thurs. 8/7 C) This is HOT TV. It has the most beautiful cast I’ve ever seen. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone that doesn’t look like a runway model here. But the acting is good too. The writing is AMAZING. After you get past the first…oh, 6 episodes of the first season, you will be in for a wild, exciting ride. Ian Somerhalder as Damon is an AWESOME reason to watch this show. Sure, he’s gorgeous, but his character is compelling. I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t love this bad boy…though Klaus sure gave him a run for his money. This show is unpredictable. I LOVE that. If you are not one of the 3 on the poster for the show, there is no guarantee you will make it out of the current episode…but you may be back in some form later. There is a spicy love triangle between Elena, who is a doppelganger for the vampire that turned her love interests, two brothers who are vampires (Stefan and Damon).  There are other subplots and villains that keep it interesting too. This is the only show on my list that is not TV-MA. That says a lot because I don’t hardly watch shows that center around high school or teenagers. I learned my lesson from Twilight. But I can guarantee this: on October 11th, my tube will be on FIRE when the 4th season of this show premieres.

Side note: I can’t believe Alan Ball, HBO, or whoever is responsible for what’s been going on with True Blood, allowed The Vampire Diaries to supersede it by leaps and bounds, but they did.

6. Game of Thrones (HBO, 3rd Season, March 31st 2013) The first few episodes were slow and boring to me. Then I realized they were full of information. This is a game and you have to learn who the players are. There are 7 noble families who all want one mythical land: Westeros. Once I learned who they were and started to love them, they started dying. WHAT? Yes. Some of my favorites. And I realized that was the appeal of the show. It’s unpredictable. I have NO idea what’s going to happen to them. They are playing a game for power, and sometimes they lose. Everyone wants the throne. Everyone shouldn’t have it. Boy, do I HATE some of these characters. Sometimes the bad guys get what they have coming to them. Sometimes they don’t. No matter what, we get to see what people will do for power. It’s a scary thing. The supernatural element infused in the story is another reason to watch. I’ve been torn between wanting to read the books before season 3 premieres or just watching the story unfold before my eyes. I’m still deciding. This is another raw, violent one set in medieval times.

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I have to end commentary on my list for now because I have some other work I have to do. Not to fear. I’ll do a part II and give you my thoughts on the rest of my Must-See TV list. I’m going to talk about the following shows:

Justified-love.

Californication-love.

Shameless-love.

Burn Notice-loved earlier seasons. Liked the last one a lot.

Being Human-loved season 1. Liked season 2. Hopeful for season 3.

Lost Girl-loved season 1. Liked season 2. Hopeful for season 3.

True Blood-loved seasons 1 and 2. It fell waaaay off. Seasons 3 and 4 were slightly disappointing. Season 5 was a waste of time. Still holding onto hope for season 6.

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These are honorable mentions that probably SHOULD be on my list but aren’t because I haven’t seen them yet or I’m not up-to-date. They come highly recommended, so they are in my queue. I’ll let you know what I think once I get to them.

Breaking Bad

American Horror Story

Grimm

Hell on Wheels

Supernatural-I watched several of the earlier seasons, but haven’t watched the last few. I need to catch up. I have mad respect for a show that’s been around this long. And the brothers are gorgeous.

Suits-only watched season 1. Liked it a lot. The legal stuff isn’t accurate many times (the way they handled that patent case was laughable), but it’s still entertaining. Given the premise of the show, the legal accuracy doesn’t matter much anyway. Once I watch season 2, I’ll give my thoughts.

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What are your thoughts on my list?

Have another show you think should be included? You see my tastes. If you think it fits, let me know!